Monday, April 15

Teen World: Heart Reality Check 101

Sweetest Pictures


I can't seem to stop writing my "Dear Young Lady" posts...

It is because I can't get over the thought that my two sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice little girls are now full-fledged teens.

I was walking with my 16-year old downtown a couple of days ago and when I hooked my arm on her arm, I had an epiphany.

My baby, the once-tiny girl who would never let go of my hand, is now taller than me.  

And she is now babbling about, nope, not the latest "My Scene" dolls (which she had to buy when she was little.  She even had a Lindsay Lohan "My Scene" doll, back when Lindsay was the kind of girl little girls would look up to), but what she wants for her future.  How she wants to finish college and work in Canada.  How she wants to take me to Europe someday.  How she wants to meet the perfect guy.  How she and her friends would like to go so bad to that fortune teller at Burnham Park so she would have a glimpse of her future.  She was looking at her future in rose tinted shades.

And it was refreshing.

But, hey, hold on.  She was my baby.  She was the girl everyone doted on.  The first "apo"* Her moments were documented with loads of pictures and lots of videos-which reminds me that I have to find bulk cd duplication to make copies of her Hi-8 video tapes when she was little. 

And it made me scared bad enough to give her a heart reality check.

I told her:

  • Don't expect your love story to mirror that of fictional characters in romance movies.  In real life, you don't have fireworks and pouring rain on cue, a two-hour buildup to a dramatic chase scene, or background violin music to accompany your very first kiss.
  • Different guys like different types of girls.  Don't feel bad if your basketball star crush only has eyes for the cheerleading gals.  Find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
  • Break up with your boyfriend immediately if: 
          a) he yells and curses at you, 
          b)forces you to get intimate and 
          c) hurts you physically.  
          There are absolutely no excuses for these.
  • Despite the male species' fascination with rescuing damsels in distress, boys admire girls who can take care of themselves.  The best relationships are formed when you don't actually need to be with each other-but you want to.
  • Don't judge boys with player reps if you don't have proof.  In the same way sensitive guys are unfairly branded gay, the attractive ones are often assumed as skirt-chasers.  Get to know him first before writing him off.
  • If  you find yourself falling for someone who already has a girlfriend, ask yourself this:  If he ditches her to be with you, what's going to stop him from cheating on you further down the road?
  • Learn to separate liking a guy from liking attention.  Don't lead him on just because you enjoy being showered with presents, acts of chivalry, and mushy text messages.
  • And lastly, I am hoping soo bad you will go into serious relationships only when you turn thirty!

* Apo-grandson/granddaughter

35 comments :

  1. Well my daughter is only 11, but I know I will one day probably be saying similar stuff to her. That with the fact I am keeping a baseball bat close to hand may help with the wrong type of guys, lol. Loved the post.

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    1. Plus, I guess dads are more protective of their daughters. too!

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  2. Wow this is really informative post. I like the tips there. Perhaps this is not only applicable to young lady but to men too.

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  3. hahaha, this is the edgy moments of moms with teens...i remember my mom with what you have enumerated, hays ang daming reminders

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    1. Really edgy, Reese, because even if I sort of think I am a cool mom, my girls still have secrets. Hayyy, I worry a lot, seriously

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  4. kumusta po kayo..unang pagpunta dito..

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    1. Hi, Arvin, Thanks sa pagpunta! Pumunta din ako sa blog mo and ansaya. I read for an hour ata haha

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  5. Mommy wag naman 30 hehehe.. Pwede 25 na lang. :)

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  6. Lucky girls you have! My mom never talked to me this way. She cried when I cried though.

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    1. My mom did, pero you know naman how teens are. they are pretending to be listening, but they have their earphones glued to their ears. I hope pumasok sa kukote nya haha

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  7. i have to hand it to you for raising your kids well. nowadays teens usually are secretive about their thoughts. yours feel comfortable enough to share their plans and visions :)

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    1. Yup, sis, but my second who is fourteen is a lot more different. She had the middle child syndrome so she is very secretive.

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  8. I would tell my girl the same, no relationship until 30.hahaha

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  9. Good to read that you are on good terms with your teen. I say let them develop relationships at their own pace and give them the guidance as and when they need so will be the best. I don't think I will tell my girl no relationship until 30 as being 30 doesn't mean she is matured enough at that age.

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  10. mine is a son, as early as now I am teaching him to give respect and love the girls. in few years i know he will start having crushes although i hope not really soon but it is something we can't stop, we just have to guide them to be responsible..

    Rosemarie/Gven-Rose

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  11. ang higpit naman, 30 years old pa para sa serious relationship, hahaha...
    nice post, indeed

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  12. I know one day I will be experiencing this too. Ngayon palang I got so madrama to think my son is just two. Hehe... I just want him to become a good man who respects other and most especially us, elders, children and women. For whatever he will become, Daddy and I will just be there for him. Ayan, I am getting senti again. Time flies so fast naman kasi.

    Mommy Maye

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  13. My daughter is only four but what you posted is already on my mind a lot. I look back at the choices I made and hope and pray she makes wiser choices than I did.

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  14. This is very helpful to those mommies out-there like ME, at some point my little precious will become teenage and your tips and advice is very helpful:)

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  15. Ang galing, feeling ko advice for me. Haha charot. Good luck sa 30 yo, Marie! Anyway, as for me, I would teach my son to be faithful and to be a real gentleman. :-)

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  16. Great advise mommy! Looks like may pinaghuhugutang malalim hehehe. You're really serious sa 30? lol!

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  17. I always enjoy reading your post! :) they keep on telling me to have a bf after college or if i am working na. hehehe well, i think i did exactly what they told me.

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  18. Waaaahhh!!! Reading this post makes me nervous sis! hahaha! I have 2 girls pa naman.

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  19. all my kids are boys--8,6, and 1 year old.

    i remember i told my eldest that he can't have girlfriend yet unless he earns his own money. haha.

    ps. u look young for a mom na may 16 year old. :)

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  20. aww, this reminds me of my recent post about time flying by so fast... my baby is just almost 18 months old but i can feel the time going by really fast so i am cherishing each moment that he's a baby. but whatever happens, i know that he will grow up to become a fine, young man, but for me he will always be my baby. :-)

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  21. Very nice. I think my mom also felt that way when I turned 13. We also had that heart to heart talk. :)

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  22. Hi Sis! You have said it really well! I admire you for collecting all those thoughts and reminders for your young girls. I guess that's what we parents should do. To constantly remind our boys and girls to be mindful of their acts and to let them grow to be more responsible individuals. You know what I am hoping for? That if my daughter ever get a BF, that would turn out to be her husband na someday. Yung one lang ba. Kasi I don't want her to get into a number of relationships and see her being hurt. :) Ang drama! Hahaha.

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    1. I hope that my daughters would meet there one and only too. I have the same thoughts as you. I dont want my girls to get hurt...

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  23. My daughter just turned 5 years old last December and after reading this post, I asked myself Ano kaya reaction ko during her teens days? diko lam sa totoo lang hihihihi basta ang alam ko lang, pag me nanakit sa anak ko, masasaktan! LOL

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  24. Oh my sis, are you sure we're not twins? I have the same convo with my daughter too regarding boys, future, career, etc., etc. in a different time and place from you. We have daughters who are about the same age and we are going through that phase now where we don't want to let go and half of us wants them to broaden their horizons. I'm already "halfway holding her hands and letting go at the same time." She'll be in college soon and her world will be wider than before. I can only pray that those convos we had not too long ago would be a constant reminder of how we brought her up with good values and fear in God and that she would be wise enough to make the right choices.

    Honestly sis, no matter how old my daughter is now, she will always be my baby.

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  25. I remember reading this post before. As I've said, it's really hard to think about this especially since I have 2 girls :(

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  26. Wow sis, did not know you have teens na pala. Time flies isn't it?

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  27. Oh dear! All moms are like this... I love the wait till she's 30 to date line... right! :-)
    My little ones are in college now and time does fly... ;-)
    Elizabeth

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