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The following is a post by Erin:
As challenging as it can be to raise a child
while hoping to instill good morals, values and behaviors, it can be even more
difficult to parent a child in the spotlight. Nevertheless, fame is not an
excuse for inappropriate or disturbing parenting fails. See how these celebs
have provided a clear-cut example for what not to do as a parent and learn how to avoid making
the same mistakes.
while hoping to instill good morals, values and behaviors, it can be even more
difficult to parent a child in the spotlight. Nevertheless, fame is not an
excuse for inappropriate or disturbing parenting fails. See how these celebs
have provided a clear-cut example for what not to do as a parent and learn how to avoid making
the same mistakes.
1. Royal Car Seat Fail
When Prince George made his first outing while
leaving St. Mary’s Hospital on July 25, 2013, new parents William and Kate did
not properly secure the royal baby in his car seat, according to reports. The baby was
swaddled tightly, making it difficult for his royal parents to buckle him tight
enough into the seat. Although mom rode in the backseat with her newborn and
the royal couple was escorted by security, the risk posed to the royal baby was
evident.
leaving St. Mary’s Hospital on July 25, 2013, new parents William and Kate did
not properly secure the royal baby in his car seat, according to reports. The baby was
swaddled tightly, making it difficult for his royal parents to buckle him tight
enough into the seat. Although mom rode in the backseat with her newborn and
the royal couple was escorted by security, the risk posed to the royal baby was
evident.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration,
when placing an infant in a rear-facing car seat, the harness straps
should be placed through the slot that is at or below your child’s
shoulders. Harness straps should always lie flat, not twisted, and the
chest clip should be tight and snug enough that extra material cannot be
pinched at the shoulder. When buckling the chest clip, make sure it is at
armpit level.
2. Degrading Your Children
Divorce is never a pleasant experience for
couples, but when you involve your child in the bitterness, it can have
devastating effects. The infamous 2007 divorce of actors Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger turned even more bitter when a voicemail message from Baldwin
degrading his 11-year old daughter Ireland was leaked to the media. The message
reveals Baldwin calling his daughter a “rude, thoughtless little pig,”
accompanied by a threat to straighten her out.
couples, but when you involve your child in the bitterness, it can have
devastating effects. The infamous 2007 divorce of actors Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger turned even more bitter when a voicemail message from Baldwin
degrading his 11-year old daughter Ireland was leaked to the media. The message
reveals Baldwin calling his daughter a “rude, thoughtless little pig,”
accompanied by a threat to straighten her out.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: According to Karyl McBride, Colorado-based licensed
family and marriage therapist, shaming and humiliating children, publicly
or privately, is emotionally abusive. Parents, especially, are expected to
provide safety, acceptance, protection and empathy for their children.
When a parent is emotionally abusive, the long-term effects can cause
children to grow up with little to no self-worth. Instead of lashing out
at your child and humiliating him or her with words, step back, regain
composure and calmly express your concerns with behavior versus attacking
the child’s sense of self.
3. Driving With a Baby
in Your Lap
in Your Lap
Who can forget the images of Britney Spears
driving her SUV with her then 4-month-old son on her lap? Although she claimed
to be harassed by paparazzi, the danger she put her child in as she drove away
made national news in 2006. In a media
release, Spears defended her actions by stating she was “terrified that this
time the physically aggressive paparazzi would put both me and my baby in
danger.”
driving her SUV with her then 4-month-old son on her lap? Although she claimed
to be harassed by paparazzi, the danger she put her child in as she drove away
made national news in 2006. In a media
release, Spears defended her actions by stating she was “terrified that this
time the physically aggressive paparazzi would put both me and my baby in
danger.”
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: Although most people are not being chased by the
paparazzi on a daily basis, a child’s safety in a vehicle is top priority
regardless of the situation. Even if you are driving a short distance,
your child must be properly secured in a car seat that is installed and
buckled according to the guidelines stipulated by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.
4. Public Intoxication
One surefire way to traumatize and embarrass
your child is to eat a cheeseburger while clearly under the influence and on
camera. For David Hasselhoff and teenage daughter Taylor, this nightmare became
a reality in 2007 when the then 16-year-old pleaded with her dad to stop
drinking. The video was later leaked to the media and Hasselhoff
admitted that he asked his daughter to tape him if he relapsed with alcohol
addiction.
your child is to eat a cheeseburger while clearly under the influence and on
camera. For David Hasselhoff and teenage daughter Taylor, this nightmare became
a reality in 2007 when the then 16-year-old pleaded with her dad to stop
drinking. The video was later leaked to the media and Hasselhoff
admitted that he asked his daughter to tape him if he relapsed with alcohol
addiction.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, when a
parent is visibly intoxicated or exhibiting reckless disregard of the
child’s safety and welfare, it is classified as child maltreatment. Asking
your child to “parent the parent,” as Hasselhoff requested in 2007, also
puts an unnecessary burden on a child. If you are struggling with alcohol
or drug use, seek professional help immediately and make secure
arrangements for your children to ensure they are in the best care during
your treatment. Emphasize to your children that their primary
responsibility is to be a child, not a supervising body within your
household.
5. Baring it All
Before her 2013 VMA performance where she
pranced around on stage suggestively, Miley Cyrus, the once G-rated Disney
princess, bared it all with the consent of mom and country singer dad, Billy
Ray Cyrus. In a 2008 photo shoot for Vanity Fair, the then 15-year old Cyrus was
photographed topless with a thin blanket covering her body. In a press release,
Cyrus’ parents admitted that they left their daughter at the shoot to attend an
event and were not aware of the plan for the shoot.
pranced around on stage suggestively, Miley Cyrus, the once G-rated Disney
princess, bared it all with the consent of mom and country singer dad, Billy
Ray Cyrus. In a 2008 photo shoot for Vanity Fair, the then 15-year old Cyrus was
photographed topless with a thin blanket covering her body. In a press release,
Cyrus’ parents admitted that they left their daughter at the shoot to attend an
event and were not aware of the plan for the shoot.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: Whether your child is a pop star sensation jumping from
one model shoot to another or a bookworm hanging out in the library,
proper supervision is vital to assure his or her safety, according to the National Resource Center for Health and Safety in Child Care and Early Education. Your child, whether she is five
or 15, does not have the capacity to make life decisions that may affect
her well-being or even her career. Although you may not be able to
supervise your child 24 hours a day, ensure that a trusted caregiver is on
hand to assist in your absence.
6. Exposure to Domestic
Abuse
Abuse
A string of incidents, from driving under the
influence to openly using drugs, have sent Lindsay Lohan’s career on a downward
spiral. The childhood star’s demise, though, was recently blamed on her
exposure to domestic abuse. In January 2013, Dina Lohan publicly alleged that
ex-husband Michael Lohan beat her during their 22-year marriage, which
ultimately ended publicly in 2007. During a 2013 interview, Dina Lohan alleged that “Lindsay saw
her dad abuse me — that’s why she’s so screwed up.”
influence to openly using drugs, have sent Lindsay Lohan’s career on a downward
spiral. The childhood star’s demise, though, was recently blamed on her
exposure to domestic abuse. In January 2013, Dina Lohan publicly alleged that
ex-husband Michael Lohan beat her during their 22-year marriage, which
ultimately ended publicly in 2007. During a 2013 interview, Dina Lohan alleged that “Lindsay saw
her dad abuse me — that’s why she’s so screwed up.”
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: When children witness violence, it can spark both
short-term and long-term consequences, according to the American Family Physician Organization. In fact, the AFP notes that children who
witness violence in the home are at greater risk for internalized
behaviors, such as fighting, bullying, lying, cheating or anxiety and
depression. Get help for your own sake and your child’s sake. Contact a
violence prevention hotline or seek help from your local law enforcement
agency to secure a safe environment for your family.
7. Promoting Premature
Partying
Partying
When children are exposed to the “adult life” at
a young age, it can severely warp their sense of what is age appropriate
behavior. In the wake of a bitter divorce from actor and husband John
Barrymore, Jaid Barrymore, mother of child star Drew Barrymore, showed her daughter the party life before she
was walking. A regular at Studio 54 as a child, Drew was smoking and drinking
by age nine and snorting cocaine at 13. The star eventually got her life back
on track after a few stints at rehab and some distance from her parents.
a young age, it can severely warp their sense of what is age appropriate
behavior. In the wake of a bitter divorce from actor and husband John
Barrymore, Jaid Barrymore, mother of child star Drew Barrymore, showed her daughter the party life before she
was walking. A regular at Studio 54 as a child, Drew was smoking and drinking
by age nine and snorting cocaine at 13. The star eventually got her life back
on track after a few stints at rehab and some distance from her parents.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: Let’s face it – kids should not be in bars or
establishments with drunken rowdiness and suggestive dancing. Although you
may choose to take your child to a restaurant that doubles as a bar for
dinner, when the dinner hour is over, it’s time to pack up and leave.
Prolonged exposure to alcohol can significantly increase a child’s risk of
drinking, according to The Nemours Foundation. In addition,
“research has linked drinking to many negative consequences, including
academic problems, risky sex, addiction to alcohol and other dangerous
substances, and deadly motor vehicle accidents,” according to the experts
at Nemours.
8. Absentee Parenting
It’s no secret that children need their parents
to be active and present in their lives, but many celebrities sacrifice family
for fame. According to Sean Stewart, son of singer Rod Stewart, many celebrity
children grow up feeling unwanted because their parents spend most of their
time on the road or on movie sets. Stewart is one of six children of the famous
crooner and has grappled with domestic abuse arrests in past years.
to be active and present in their lives, but many celebrities sacrifice family
for fame. According to Sean Stewart, son of singer Rod Stewart, many celebrity
children grow up feeling unwanted because their parents spend most of their
time on the road or on movie sets. Stewart is one of six children of the famous
crooner and has grappled with domestic abuse arrests in past years.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: Whether you are a superstar crooning out the hits or a
working parent trying to provide for your children, the effects of chronic absenteeism can affect your child’s development and well-being,
according to “Social Work Today.” Quality time with your child is
something he or she needs on a regular basis to feel secure, well-loved
and supported. Even with busy schedules, etch out time for some one-on-one
time and work to re-prioritize your time so that your children are the
number one priority.
9. Social Media Ridicule
Growing up in the public spotlight is not an
easy task when your rock-star father committed suicide and your rock-star mother
has had a known drug addiction; however, Frances Bean, daughter of Courtney
Love and the late Kurt Cobain, has also had to deal with social media ridicule
from the one who should be shielding her from harm. In a 2012 rant on Twitter, Courtney Love accused one of Cobain’s former
bandmates of putting the moves on her daughter, causing a media frenzy and
utter embarrassment for her daughter, who later rebuked the claim and has
estranged herself from Love.
easy task when your rock-star father committed suicide and your rock-star mother
has had a known drug addiction; however, Frances Bean, daughter of Courtney
Love and the late Kurt Cobain, has also had to deal with social media ridicule
from the one who should be shielding her from harm. In a 2012 rant on Twitter, Courtney Love accused one of Cobain’s former
bandmates of putting the moves on her daughter, causing a media frenzy and
utter embarrassment for her daughter, who later rebuked the claim and has
estranged herself from Love.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: Publicly ridiculing your child or airing her supposed
dirty laundry is not an effective way to resolve a perceived problem or
issue you may have with her behavior. Instead of taking to the social
media airwaves, embark on a private conversation or discussion with your
child to express your concerns. In the end, you will gain more respect and
save face, whether you are a celebrity or not.
10. Never Say ‘No’
The word “no” is something Suri Cruise has yet to hear. Parents
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes allege that their parenting choice is to never say
no to their daughter. Although the youngest Cruise has led a sheltered life
surrounded by body guards and fame, one has to wonder how she will adjust to
the word “no” once the reality of real life kicks in.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes allege that their parenting choice is to never say
no to their daughter. Although the youngest Cruise has led a sheltered life
surrounded by body guards and fame, one has to wonder how she will adjust to
the word “no” once the reality of real life kicks in.
- How to Avoid this Parenting
Fail: There will be times when your child needs to be told
“no.” Setting limits and boundaries and establishing authority are all
necessary components of parenting. Teaching your child that she will not
always get her way can also better prepare her for the future. The bottom
line: No means no and it should be a word your child understands.As challenging as it can be to raise a child
while hoping to instill good morals, values and behaviors, it can be even more
difficult to parent a child in the spotlight. Nevertheless, fame is not an
excuse for inappropriate or disturbing parenting fails. See how these celebs
have provided a clear-cut example for what not to do as a parent and learn how to avoid making
the same mistakes.
Parenting is never easy and so we can imagine the hell it is for celebs. I don't envy them.
Your tips are great. My main advice is hire a Nanny!
Eliz