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The more serious a relationship gets, the more one
demands commitment, loyalty and honesty.
One single deception, a little lie which can turn into a bigger
lie, may permanently seal a couple’s fate.
demands commitment, loyalty and honesty.
One single deception, a little lie which can turn into a bigger
lie, may permanently seal a couple’s fate.
But what if you lied to your partner about splurging
your salary on that cute outfit?
your salary on that cute outfit?
Or fibbed about how great his mother is even if you
don’t really like her?
don’t really like her?
Or swore he cooked a great prime rib steak although you
secretly shared it with your dog after just a few bites?
Do Relationships Need Lies to Survive ?
secretly shared it with your dog after just a few bites?
Do Relationships Need Lies to Survive ?
Little Lies
Some people claim that some lies cannot be entirely
bad. In fact, if we are to be truly
honest about how many times we have lied, we would probably realize that we
regularly “white-lie” every day. We do
it when we call in sick at work (but are actually nursing a hang-over).
Husbands do it when they say their wives don’t look fat in an outfit. There are lies wherein we are trying to be
kind because we don’t want to hurt another one’s feelings. Sometimes, it is as simple as making a
comment about how good he looks (even if you think he needs a haircut and need
to hide the grey) or missing a lunch date because of the traffic (you actually
had a quick lunch time break at the spa).
bad. In fact, if we are to be truly
honest about how many times we have lied, we would probably realize that we
regularly “white-lie” every day. We do
it when we call in sick at work (but are actually nursing a hang-over).
Husbands do it when they say their wives don’t look fat in an outfit. There are lies wherein we are trying to be
kind because we don’t want to hurt another one’s feelings. Sometimes, it is as simple as making a
comment about how good he looks (even if you think he needs a haircut and need
to hide the grey) or missing a lunch date because of the traffic (you actually
had a quick lunch time break at the spa).
Big Lies
However, there are lies that ruin a relationship
forever, and sometimes, they start out as little lies. People get scared of telling the painful
truth, because it would hurt the other person or the person is not stable
emotionally. A lot of times, the intention is to shield the person. But then, this serious lie would just fester
and grow into proportions where a relationship can no longer be saved.
forever, and sometimes, they start out as little lies. People get scared of telling the painful
truth, because it would hurt the other person or the person is not stable
emotionally. A lot of times, the intention is to shield the person. But then, this serious lie would just fester
and grow into proportions where a relationship can no longer be saved.
Big Lies in a relationship – like having a brief
affair or hiding an illness from a family member – are more often done in a relationship
because one is afraid of what the concerned person will be capable of doing if
she finds out. Once you enter a serious
relationship, you are expected to be totally honest.
affair or hiding an illness from a family member – are more often done in a relationship
because one is afraid of what the concerned person will be capable of doing if
she finds out. Once you enter a serious
relationship, you are expected to be totally honest.
But I believe that one is just being self-centered
when he makes a big lie. Although he
claims of sparing and shielding his partner from the pain, it always comes down
to “All about himself.” One is making a
lie to make him look and feel better.
when he makes a big lie. Although he
claims of sparing and shielding his partner from the pain, it always comes down
to “All about himself.” One is making a
lie to make him look and feel better.
And no matter how one feels that the other party
will eventually find out, forgive and forget about it , the relationship would
still probably end. In feel-good books
and movies, everything is resolved and they life happily ever after, but in
reality, this may never happen. There
was a deception and the relationship was doomed from the day the lie
started. Since the lie was made, the
relationship has already started crumbling, because behind the mind of the
person who made the big lie is fear – fear that his lie will be found out, fear
that his partner will leave him, fear
that his partner will never trust him again – and this fear will not exactly
help him in being happy in the relationship.
will eventually find out, forgive and forget about it , the relationship would
still probably end. In feel-good books
and movies, everything is resolved and they life happily ever after, but in
reality, this may never happen. There
was a deception and the relationship was doomed from the day the lie
started. Since the lie was made, the
relationship has already started crumbling, because behind the mind of the
person who made the big lie is fear – fear that his lie will be found out, fear
that his partner will leave him, fear
that his partner will never trust him again – and this fear will not exactly
help him in being happy in the relationship.
Relationships don’t need big lies to survive. These will just ruin them.
Do you think relationships need lies in order to
survive?
survive?
I believe some white lies are common and are harmless. But big lies are really dangerous because this usually involves some major issues. These big lies should really be avoided at all costs. Why would one need to lie in the first place, right? If you feel the need to lie, then there could be something wrong with the relationship.
I seriously don't think that relationship need lies.. lies are never good and when they do get found out it will be the end of the relationship then.
I think that lies really ruin the relationship, because you have to have good memory to keep up with the lies. If one doesn't want to say something unpleasant to her partner, just keep silent, change the subject subtly or don't bring up the matter anymore.
Strictly speaking, I don't tell my husband about each and everything that I buy especially, I buy it with my own money… but, if your resources are together always, then, you have to be transparent! If the topic is about fidelity, there is no question that this will ruin any relationship since no matter how hard you will lie about it, the truth will always come out!
I'm really no expert on relationships, but I do think lies – big or small – can damage one. It is best to place Jesus in the center of the relationship for it to survive, don't you think? 🙂
i think a little white lies wont hurt but lies that are too much to bear is unacceptable.. we fell betrayed if it happened to us..
No no no to BIG LIES…infidelity can definitiely ruin a marriage and though, reconciliation is a possibility, trust may not easily be regained. For small lies, like not telling what you shopped is okay with me as long as you used your own money. But if your budget is as one, there has to be transparency.