Last Updated on April 13, 2021 by Marie Bautista
The more serious a relationship gets, the more one demands commitment, loyalty and honesty.
One single deception, a little lie which can turn into a bigger lie, may permanently seal a couple’s fate.
But what if you lied to your partner about splurging your salary on that cute outfit?
Or fibbed about how great his mother is even if you don’t really like her?
Or swore he cooked a great prime rib steak although you secretly shared it with your dog after just a few bites?
Do Relationships Need Lies to Survive ?
Relationships are delicate and should be handled with care. Many times we see our relationship going through a rough phase and we need some help to get back to each other. A good therapist Beverly Hills can always help in such cases.
Some people claim that some lies cannot be entirely bad. In fact, if we are to be truly honest about how many times we have lied, we would probably realize that we regularly “white-lie” every day.
We do it when we call in sick at work (but are actually nursing a hang-over).
Husbands do it when they say their wives don’t look fat in an outfit.
There are lies wherein we are trying to be kind because we don’t want to hurt another one’s feelings. Sometimes, it is as simple as making a comment about how good he looks (even if you think he needs a haircut and need to hide the grey) or missing a lunch date because of the traffic (you actually had a quick lunch time break at the spa).
However, there are lies that ruin a relationship forever, and sometimes, they start out as little lies.
People get scared of telling the painful truth, because it would hurt the other person or the person is not stable emotionally.
A lot of times, the intention is to shield the person. But then, this serious lie would just fester and grow into proportions where a relationship can no longer be saved.
Big Lies in a relationship – like having a brief affair or hiding an illness from a family member – are more often done in a relationship because one is afraid of what the concerned person will be capable of doing if she finds out. Once you enter a serious
relationship, you are expected to be totally honest.
But I believe that one is just being self-centered when he makes a big lie.
Although he claims of sparing and shielding his partner from the pain, it always comes down
to “All about himself.” One is making a lie to make him look and feel better.
And no matter how one feels that the other party will eventually find out, forgive and forget about it , the relationship would
still probably end.
In feel-good books and movies, everything is resolved and they life happily ever after, but in reality, this may never happen.
There was a deception and the relationship was doomed from the day the lie started. Since the lie was made, the
relationship has already started crumbling, because behind the mind of the person who made the big lie is fear – fear that his lie will be found out, fear that his partner will leave him, fear that his partner will never trust him again – and this fear will not exactly help him in being happy in the relationship.
Relationships don’t need big lies to survive. These will just ruin them.
Do you think relationships need lies in order to survive?
Janice Lim says
I believe some white lies are common and are harmless. But big lies are really dangerous because this usually involves some major issues. These big lies should really be avoided at all costs. Why would one need to lie in the first place, right? If you feel the need to lie, then there could be something wrong with the relationship.
Dominique Goh says
I seriously don't think that relationship need lies.. lies are never good and when they do get found out it will be the end of the relationship then.
Cym Marzan says
I think that lies really ruin the relationship, because you have to have good memory to keep up with the lies. If one doesn't want to say something unpleasant to her partner, just keep silent, change the subject subtly or don't bring up the matter anymore.
Pinay Ricamora says
Strictly speaking, I don't tell my husband about each and everything that I buy especially, I buy it with my own money… but, if your resources are together always, then, you have to be transparent! If the topic is about fidelity, there is no question that this will ruin any relationship since no matter how hard you will lie about it, the truth will always come out!
Marie Angeli Laxa says
I'm really no expert on relationships, but I do think lies – big or small – can damage one. It is best to place Jesus in the center of the relationship for it to survive, don't you think? 🙂
aby ♥ says
i think a little white lies wont hurt but lies that are too much to bear is unacceptable.. we fell betrayed if it happened to us..
Pinay Ricamora says
No no no to BIG LIES…infidelity can definitiely ruin a marriage and though, reconciliation is a possibility, trust may not easily be regained. For small lies, like not telling what you shopped is okay with me as long as you used your own money. But if your budget is as one, there has to be transparency.