Last Updated on September 13, 2019 by Marie Bautista
Three words. Yet everyday, I say them in different ways. Whenever Paula, Nicole or Adrian need advice or reassurance, I try to do or say what you always would, had you been here. I may never do it perfectly like you did, but I try hard. I strive to be like you. Every day is a celebration of missing you and honoring your memory, which starts with those three words.
I have always thought you were Wonder Woman. Everything worked perfectly when you were around. Nothing ever went wrong. It may have been your grace, your unwavering faith, your sincerity. Your quiet reassurance that everything will be okay when I was having problems always worked. Just being beside you made me believe that I can be anyone I wanted to be.
And I remember the laughter, the mischief in your eyes. The way your hand felt so soft and fragile in mine, despite your struggle to keep your memories alive even when your meningioma was getting worse.
How you loved receiving flowers.
How you literally dragged me to watch every Sharon and Gabby movie (I was on a stage where I hated everything my mom loved!).
How I cried every time I hear “Wind Beneath My Wings” and “Miss You Like Crazy when I left home for six months to have my CPA Review in Manila. I still cry like buckets when I hear these songs!
How you kept every single card I gave you. Later, you also kept Paula and Nicole’s notes to you.
How you prohibited me from going to a friend’s debut and I swore I will remember what you did for the rest of my life (I still do, but without the seriousness of a teenager).
How you helped me make my school projects. You seemed to know everything. Every kind of stitch, you can sew. And you can knit and crochet, too, and before scrapbooks were the thing, you already had yours!
How gifted you were and yet so humble, so complicated and yet so simple. A perfect mother.
How, when your condition was getting worse, you would squeeze my hand and whisper weakly, “I love you.”
Three words I so long to say to you personally. Every single day. My guardian angel, please tell my mom, “I love her.”