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Last Updated on April 13, 2017 by Marie Bautista
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I first enrolled my daughter in pre-school when she was just three and a half years old. I was so excited! And she was, too! She always did things early. She started walking when she was ten months old. She had an extensive vocabulary and was talking really well before she turned two. She warms up to other children easily…
I bought her new black school shoes, a new bag, her first-ever school uniform. She breezed through school happily, too.
I had a friend who had a son my daughter’s age. The same scene. The mom (my friend) was so excited, she bought new stuff. But instead of hopping happily into the classroom like my daughter, her little boy clung to her leg and screamed until she finally brought her little boy home. He just wasn’t ready for school yet.
My friend was crushed and wondered why Paula, my daughter, loved school and her son hated it. She finally realized though that she has been quite insensitive. That was her word. She was insensitive. She told me she should have spent less time reading school curricula and more time figuring out if her son was prepared for the big leap.
Experts agree that there are no absolute ways of determining if a child is ready for school. Standardized tests are usually unreliable, since toddlers often develop at their own pace and can be simultaneously “ahead” or “behind”of their peers in different areas.
Instead, ask yourself if your child has the social skills and the emotional maturity to handle the demands of being among strangers in a structured setting. After all, play schools isn’t just about painting and playgrounds. She will have to get used to following a schedule, obeying instructions, relating to others. While these are all great learning opportunities, she needs to master basic skills before she can successfully hurdle these challenges.
The Heart Start Report from The Emotional Foundations of School Readiness names these crucial social and emotional skills:
Confidence. Children must learn to feel good about themselves and believe they can succeed. Confident children are more willing to attempt new tasks and try them again if they don’t succeed the first time.
Independence. Children need to learn to do things for themselves.
Motivation. Children must want to learn.
Curiosity. Children are naturally curious and must remain so in order to get most out of learning opportunities.
Persistence. Children must learn to finish what they start.
Cooperation. Children must be able to get along with others and learn to share and take turns.
Self control. Children must understand that some behaviors, such as hitting and biting, are inappropriate. They need to learn that there are good and bad ways to express anger.
Empathy. Children must learn to have an interest in others and understand how they feel.
Making The Leap
We are actually our children’s first and most important teachers in developing and nurturing these skills. Doing the following are ways where we can help our child acquire these positive qualities:
- Children must believe and be re-assured that someone is always there to look out, care and watch over them. They thrive on love, your attention, loving hugs and encouragement. Children who feel and are loved are more loving, confident children.
- Lead and your child will follow. Children are great imitators and would mirror practically everything you say or do. If you treat people graciously and respect them, your child probably will, too. If you share things, your child will love sharing, too. If you always scream, curse and do offensive things, your child probably would imitate you, too.
- We have grown up practically hating school. Seriously. But parents, don’t lead on that you do (shh, it is our secret). Children love to learn, discover things, go around and explore. Encourage this. Allow them to crawl in the mud, write on walls. Don’t restrict them for fear that they will hurt themselves or catch germs or something. Praise them! Talk about school and how fun it will be. Describe how school is and how much he will learn new things and meet new people.
- Practice makes perfect. We have been learning ever since we were born through practice. Before we walked, we practiced by crawling. Everything was learned through practice and repetition. Encouraging a child to try and try and practice will build his confidence and he will always thirst to do something new.
- Set limits. Children need firm but loving discipline.
- Prepare your children’s activities. Be sure they are enjoying them, though. Do not try to make too many restrictions or dominate them.
- Don’t vent your anger on your child.
- Give reasons on why you are angry to your child. My boy used to say “Mama, you don’t love me?” whenever I scold him for a misbehavior. My answer is “I love you. So much. But it is not okay for you to exceed the time I gave you to play on your XBox.”
- Let your children work out problems for themselves. Let them choose, instead of making decisions for them.
- Let your child be independent and develop their self-confidence by allowing them to do things like dressing themselves (even if their clothes’ colors would clash) children try tasks by themselves.
this is a very interesting post, sis. i have a one year old son and my OB said that it's better if we enroll him as early as possible since he doesn't have playmates at home. we haven't enrolled him yet but we occasionally bring him to play areas so he could play with other kids and learn to interact with them. your post really touched my heart, my dear. thanks. 🙂
Nice parenting posts sis! Us, your readers really learn something from you. Thanks!
I learned a lot Marie! Those photos of your kid in class are very adorable too.
these are great list to gauge if a child is ready; my kids went to school early and i never had encountered problems with them
Well defined article about kids getting ready for school. Your source was right there are no standards on determining whether the kids are ready for school or not but there are signs that can be observed from the kids. The best and always will be is kids learn things with parents first.
wonderful posts. very informative to both students and teachers too. 🙂 When I saw the title, I answered back in my mind, maybe I'm not yet ready.. K-12 was such a huge turnout because of so many things to do. Literally! It just tripled my job. It's hard to execute it especially to public schools because of luck of materials especially projectors and the like.
These are great tips, Marie! Relatives often ask me, when is your 2nd one going to school? He might be left behind daw. Frankly, I don't think he's ready yet. I am a bit worried he's gonna be left behind, but I don't want to force him to go to school.
My early memories of school is playing in the playground. I want to share the experience to my eldest, but sadly, her school doesn't have one. 🙁 As early as now, she's telling me she hates school. 🙁
Hi Marie! This is a great school readiness check list and a good post on how we should be as parents to our children. Admittedly though, as a mother, I do strive everyday to be the near perfect parent I could be for my two boys. I do get mad at them and scold them for misbehavior but I talk to them afterwards and give them a reassuring hug to let them know and feel that I do love them and that I'll always be here for them. 🙂 Nice one sis! 🙂
this is a nice read, i was 2 years old when i started school, i think my parent's clue that i am ready was i can already adopt to a different sorrounding and people
Yes, he is ready and excited to attend school this coming Monday! It's his first year. I hope he is matured enough to adopt with his new surrounding.
is a good post for us mommies, send the little one to daycare center at 3 then enrolled him sa nursery when he was 4, b y then ready na sya to face new challenges
Rosemarie/Gven-Rose
I think parents really need to be sensitive. Every kids is different and should be treated accordingly.
"We are actually our children's first and most important teachers…" – i have to agree… we are the first ones to know if our kids are ready or have developed the emotional quotient to handle a new phase like going to school. 🙂
I don't remember making a scene in pre-school. Hehe. Pero ang totoo hindi talaga ako mahilig pumasok hehe. Buti na lang there was playtime to look forward to, and friends. 🙂
thanks for this post. we did not sent our Little Matt in school but we decided to have informal homeschool. By the way, thanks for the material you sent to Mommy. That will help a lot.
Great tips that every parent need to take note before sending their kid off to school. My kids didn't really have problem adjusting to pre-school especially the younger ones as the older ones where there to guide them when they first entered.
Hi Marie. Great list of dos and don'ts when it comes to preparing a child for school. I still have one more child who is not yet into formal school though she's already 4. I'm hoping to get her really ready by next year.
You have a happy and "bibo" daughter! You are raising her so well, kitang-kita sa photos. Thanks for the tips. I have a lot to learn.
Trying hard on no. 7 and found the best weapon to stop myself (when it seems I can't) is a deep breath and a prayer.
This is such a wonderful post, great tips and I learn a lot, It is very important to train them to be independent at early age. Thanks!
My niece who is almost 4 has gone to school this year. And the house is seemingly more quiet without her. Nakaka-miss! The tips you included are all helpful to help every parent in this situation.
This just made me realize our decision is okay for not sending Matt to school too soon. Though he kept on telling us he will go to school, his focus for the formal learning is not yet that fine. Also, I can see a lot of advantages with homeschooling. I can see how he is learning, what he loves to do and what are his interests. And sis he show interest in the reading materials you have sent me. Nakakatuwa because he is a little slang pa. Thank you for inspiring me more 🙂
Galing naman your baby girl! I'm sure she still does very well now. What I heard from my ninangs before was to never enroll the child too early kasi madali daw magsasawa. Kaya daw pag highschool, bulakbol. Is that true?
when i was kinder i always cry when my lola or my mom leave my school.. hehehe
Timely post and very informative as well. 🙂 It is really important that we know or child, his needs, and we look for an institution where we think he will fit in.
I'm hoping my son will be ready by next year to enter a regular school. 🙂
Good set of tips fr parents. By the way, your daughter looks so bibo ha. I think you had done a great job training her.
She is, Krizza. She is now sixteen and in college, by the way. I have kids representing all the grade levels lol. Paula-college, Nicole (14)-high school, Adrian (7)-Grade 2
That's our dilemma now with my youngest nephew. He is already 4 and should start schooling na. But then, he changes his mind so often the this week will be his trial period hehehe. Sort of sit-in muna at class and then if he can manage it, that's the only time he will be enrolled. Good thing the school admin is okay with that arrangement. Actually, they were the ones who suggested that set-up.
As for me, when I was a kid, I love school, but I also have separation anxiety and I would cry every time my mom leaves me at school, and she was always late for work for the first few days hehehe…
I decided to bring Adrian to school only when he turned five (unlike his older sisters who were three and a half when they started pre-school). Naki sit in siya in a school near our place when he was around four but I guess he didn't like the school. I personally think there is a right age to go to school and that is (according to my experience lang naman)five or six. My girls started early but Nicole had crying bouts after a month and si Ate Paula started crying on her third year of school (grade 1 and only 51/2). If we make pilit to bring them to school, they will hate school
Great post. I can only reflect on how I started school since I do not have a child. I started school early at 3 and half. I don't think I was asked. Although I would wail and cry my heart out when I do not see my mother from my desk, I love school. hehehe Depende talaga sa bata.
I read somewhere that boys are a bit delayed when it comes to school-readiness. But when they get their momentum, they can easily catch up.
This post is a good reminder to parents like me. Thanks!
Your article is very helpful for those moms with small children that must be educated while they're still discovering the world. A good example and proper training are the best thing to do when and where they'll want to learn about schooling.
very interesting post, i am not sure for my son for i can't tell if he is, although he'd learn things more advance than to his age…
You just have to expose kids to schools and see how they adopt.
I'm trying homeschooling with my 4 yo in Kindergarten right now. It's stressful at first but now, I'm happy to see progress that he likes to listen to me and that he likes to help to whatever I do at home.
My kids have never had any problem with socializing even though they went to school when they are already five. Hubby and I did not send them to pre-school because we thought that they will learn mo=re (academically) if we teach them at ho=me and so we did. I am glad we did that because our kids are very thankful that we were their first teach. MY daughter used to call me Teacher Momma lol.
I have a son in Kinder and a 5th grader and both enjoyed school. They were ready and confident when they went for their first day. I think I was the one crying, seeing them going to school means they are growing older. ha ha